During the first few weeks of me being diagnosed with Testicular Cancer, I was able to get to church a few times. As a Pastor, I’m often “putting on” church for others, so this was a time of refreshment, refocus, and much needed stillness for my mind.
My friend, Kristi, was leading worship this one particular weekend, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Her voice is angelic, and her worship-leading style is one that draws lifts high the name of Jesus rather than lifting high her talent. She was teaching our church a new song…rather, a newer rendition of an old hymn, “It is well.”
It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I love worship music – in fact, it’s mostly all I listen to. So I already knew the song she was teaching the church. And I was excited to declare the truth embedded in its melody.
The entire song spoke to me. Especially in the season I found myself in. But a few lines in particular really touched my heart.
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
My eyes couldn’t see what my future held. Would cancer take me out? Sure, testicular cancer has a high cure rate…but it’s still cancer. There was still some uncertainty in my mind, no matter the percentage of success the Doctor gave me.
Would I accept all the blessings I had received from the Lord, and not accept this trial? Far be it from me to not believe in the Lord just because a hardship had entered my life. The text that Christians read and believe is full of trials and hardship. The Apostle Paul went as far as to say that it’s when he is weak, that’s when he feels God’s strength in him.
Whether this mountain that was in front of me was going to be thrown into the sea by way of miraculous healing, healing through medical treatment, or ultimate healing in heaven – I didn’t know the answer to that. I just knew the mountain would ultimately bow to our Almighty God.
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
This line of the song brought to memory the Bible stories of Jesus calming the storms. There’s the one when Jesus is asleep during the storm and gets awoken by his buddies. He speaks a command and the lake calms down.
Then the other one when he’s walking on top of the water during a storm and calls Peter out to take a walk with him. Peter does…for a minute. The waves scare him and so he begins to fear, which leads to sinking. Jesus catches him, asks him why he doubted, then calms the storm.
This man, Jesus, was in complete control of physical storms on the water. And I believe He is in complete control of storms in our lives. The waves and wind still know their Creator. And they still obey Him.
I had this song on repeat. It was my mind’s mantra. And I was encouraged every time I heard it. This storm I was in surely was a storm – no denying that. And there were moments I doubted. But the God I believe in was in control of this storm. And this song was an especially beautiful reminder during this season.